ATTABOY POLYESTER

Josh Bock founded Theranos.

LORD NINTENDO FLUSH

Elisha is a nervous, skinny little boy with hefty aspirations.

DELPHI CHALAMET

Mina likes haikus

Is this enough syllables?

Whatever it’s fine.

STREETCAR NAMED SPLUSHMORE

URETHRA!!!

ARGO MARTINE

Devika fought valiantly in the Civil War.

BABBLIN’ BOBBY BRUTÉ

Millie is a young, driven, passionate, lively, clean, well-decorated AirBNB with almost everything you need! Located near Shibuya station which is the center of Tokyo, it is easy to go anywhere. Home WIFI/NETFLIX/Youtube is provided!

*water heater was replaced in Jan. 2021.*

GOOSENHEIMER

Harry missed the STD section of fifth and seventh grade sex ed. He wasn’t scared, just overwhelmed.

OPERATIVE E. RUPTION

Alyssa wishes she knew something about anything.

“YOU-KNOW-WHY” DAVIDSON

Nico is Instagram famous under his account @champagnepapi

APATOW GRANGER MCFLY

In his free time, Will likes to participate in various snafus and brouhahas, and create assorted ruckuses, as well as rigmaroles. He is wanted for vehicular manslaughter in the state of Connecticut.

UNO TRUDEAU

Victoria was born to be a silly little girl, forced to do PSETs

DAME DYNAMITE DULCE

Amara has thrown up in a Tesla. Have you?

C. PENELOPE DROOP

Mya learnt the difference between melanin and melatonin this year. She told her nurse she takes melanin pills and was looked at funny. #premed

SLIM DE HOPE

Nick has stood outside the Yale Women’s Center. #ally

ADMIRAL DOUBLE-YA FLAPBERRY

Prentiss misses when this band was about the music.

BWEEF BWISKET

Hey, Hey, Hey!!! Let me out! I am trapped in this stupid website!!! Pleaseeee! I can’t breathe. I am going to die in here! Someone please help…

SIGGY THE WHAMMER

Raj took the COVID vaccine and can’t stop talking like Kronk from Emperor’s New Groove.